Merkley???

There is a fellow who goes by the name of Merkley???. He's a colorful character and when it comes to Flickr photo sharing he is a veritable rock star. I first heard about Merkley from my photographer friend Dan Boud over a year ago while he was visiting with me from Sydney. I'll paraphrase the conversation we had.

Dan: "Did you know that Merkley lives in your city?"

Me: "Who's Merkley?

Dan: "He's an artist guy who takes pictures, mostly of naked chicks, and then posts them on Flickr."

Me: "Lots of people do that. Why is he special?"

Dan: "His are unique. He uses lots and lots of photoshop on them and all kinds of strange props. It's quite elaborate. My friend George gave me his number. I texted Merkley to tell him I was in town but I didn't hear back."

Me: "Dude, Text him again."

Dan: "Apparently he has a big Victorian type house in the city. He has a huge variety of Suicide Girl type women in his work. Some people really love his pictures and the purist photographers are up in arms about all the image adjusting. He's rather eccentric in the way he dresses and he has this great big beard."

Me: "Forget texting. You should call him so we can go see his place."

Dan: "It's a bit intimidating since I don't actually know him."

Me: "If we show up at his place bearing women as gifts he's likely to be friendly towards us."

Dan: "My friend, I seriously doubt Merkley has any trouble getting his own women."

Me: "I need to see these photos."

When I look at Merkley I am always struck by the idea that Will Ferrel would be the one to play him in a movie. He's a bit of a hybrid of Jim Morrison and Will Ferrel with just a pinch of Manson from his bushy beard. I'd like to follow Merkley about so I could get enough material to write a screenplay about him. It's also possible that Merkley is enough of a character that he could just play himself. I highly doubt Merkley would like the idea of a mainstream comedy actor playing him in a movie. I imagine he might say something like, "Will Ferrel can eat boogers from my ass crack." Actually, Merkley has his own blog where he expresses himself, shares his photos and some occasionally juvenile but clever commentary about some of the people he visits. Merk makes me curious about him since there is nothing hidden or particularly mysterious about his work. Or maybe it's just the beard that intrigues me.

I was pleased to see him out at Frisco Disco a few months back. I didn't bother him because he was talking to a lovely young lady at the time and I didn't want to punch a hole in his mojo. He was wearing dark sunglasses and a lovely burgundy suit as I recall. Then a hot British gal at the bar asked me to buy her a beer because she was under age. I thought it was a clever way to get a free beer from me, so I checked her ID and it was legit. She was 20. Then, I looked up and Merkley wasn't there. Like the wind, man. Quiet as a shadow he had slipped off into the night and back to his prop-filled pad. Was he real or was it just in my mind's eye? What I should have done was quickly introduce her to Merkley so he could take her photo in all it's jail-bait adjacent girl-scouted glory. She seemed wild and fancy free-spirited enough to be one of his nude models. Merkely is a true San Fran Freak that makes me proud to claim him as one of our own. He's a heterosexual hero in a town that really needs one. Gotham may have Batman but my San Fran Freaky friends and I have Merkley.

Look there! It's a jaded, bisexual, hipster chic covered in tattoos and holding an ugly little dog. Quick, throw up the Merk signal. The commissioner will need a picture of that one.